- What will unlucky lovers say, now that there aren't plenty of fish left in the sea?
- Do sheep publish silly videos on EweTube?
- Why is Egg Like nothing like eggs?
- Has anyone ever tried to make ear wax candles?
- Why don't we connect gym equipment to generators, so that we can make electricity whilst we get fit?
- Why, in this age of rampant obesity, don't we pull out all the shopping mall travelators and escalators, and replace them with good old-fashioned stairs (with a few lifts for the less mobile)?
- Can you get skin cancer from too much Moon Tan?
- When the astronauts landed on the Moon, did they bring bits of bread and fondue forks?
- Why do golfers dress like bad seventies' pimps?
- Do elephants get nose bleeds?
- What is it that hyenas and kookaburras find so funny?
- Do sloths exercise vigorously when the Discovery Channel cameras are turned off?
- Wouldn't it be great if onions made you laugh instead of cry?
- How is it possible for Keith Richards to still be alive? Is Death scared of him?
Ah, Rambling Masses,
Have I got something average in store for you today! About five years ago, I was mucking around on a local community radio station as a pretend DJ with a couple of friends of mine, and I decided to put together a rather silly weekly serial.
I recently stumbled across the end result, hiding in a dark recess of my hard drive somewhere. And so, without further ado, I give you...
I hope you enjoy wasting your time listening to it as much as I enjoyed wasting my time making it. Until next we meet, oh Rambling Masses, I remain your humble servant.
Well, it is exciting having a blog, at least for the first little bit. I am sure that I will tire of it one day, but in the meantime, here's an update.
I thought that I would share a poem with you, oh Rambling Masses. I wrote it many many moons ago, during a particularly dull university lecture, and I still kinda like it. Enjoy.
Release your grip on me.
Tug of love,
What goes up comes down -
Stupid planet, can't you see:
It's fatal attraction,
A lethal action,
Loss of sight -
Can't you see,
It's fatal attraction
To keep us here,
Because we'll destroy you
Through our fear.
Stinking stealing -
Mother! We will abuse you;
The situation is grave -
Only one way to save
3rd April, 1992.
Silenus loves beat boxing. A lot!
It's the bomb!
The best beat boxer in Silenus' world is Roxorloops, a nerdy weedy little guy from Belgium. He is the shit!
No worries. I'll just be in my early teens, be self-taught, and play both the rhythm guitar and lead guitar parts to one of the most iconic songs ever.
Don't sweat it. I've got it.
This kid is a serious freak! A pure and amazing musical genius, and he's only gonna get better with age, as experience expands his emotive boundaries.
And my absolute favourite: A version of White Lion's When The Children Cry.
Silenus always thought that there were some amazing whistlers out there. He thought he'd heard some pretty amazing whistling, in the form of Roger Whittaker.
Then he discovered a world champion whistler in the form of Geert Chatrou.
Hello, oh Rambling Masses,
I must profess that as I grow older, I try to find ways to do it in as graceful a way as possible. I don't look forward to wearing my Y-fronts pulled all the way up to my armpits, but if that is the future that fate has planned for me, then so be it. I will wedge, and do it gracefully.
The art of growing old gracefully is all about the balance between disappointment and mediocrity.
This sounds like an inherently negative statement, but upon deeper inspection, this is far from the truth. The truth is that, as one gets older, the tendency is to lower one's expectations of life.
No one can say that they have achieved all that, in the fiery flush of youth, they set out to do. With our dreams coursing through our veins, we, as pert young things full of vigour and vim, attacked the mountainside of life with all of our vitality, and climbed for all that we were worth.
Experience, that great leveler, taught us many things as we climbed. Those who now have the wisdom of years have learned to respect their limits, for none of us is able to achieve absolutely everything that we set out to do.
All of us have goals that, as we age, we realise we may never achieve. This can't help but to breed a sense of failure and disappointment to a greater or lesser extent, depending on the individual. To protect ourselves, we lower our goals, and if this becomes too much of a habit, then we descend into mediocrity.
This is the great balancing act that we must play in our lives. Set our sights too high, and we are doomed to failure and the bitter taste of disappointment. Set our sights too low, and we condemn ourselves to a life of mediocrity, and we end up being so much less than we are capable of.
Finding the balance is, in my humble opinion, one of the hardest things in life, but a task well worth the endeavour. We should continually strive to test our limits, to not fall into that oh-so-simple trap of mediocrity. Don't settle for sitting in front of the TV with a bag of crisps resting on your laundry-greyed Y-fronts (again with the Y-fronts!), watching the latest regurgitation of reality TV posing as entertainment. Quite often, we are capable of more than we think.
Know your limitations, but never ever sell yourself short.
I choose life over mere existence any day. The difference is not just the challenge that you set yourself every day, but even more importantly, identifying that there is and should be a challenge.
These guys are truly amazing. Silenus has known about them for at least 4 or 5 years, during one of those YouTube marathons where he was delighting in exploring the wonders of beat boxing.